and four months later...

I'm a married woman! So no, I did not lose 50 lbs. but I did feel absolutely beautiful and confident standing beside that amazing man! It's the journey, not the destination. I'm still digging in everyday trying to make the best decision for myself and my future. It's not always easy, but what is? Nothing is easy, ever! You have to learn to roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. I did lose close to 20 lbs and that's no small feat!

Stay tuned, I still plan on completing my goal of living a healthy life at a healthy weight!

I Hate Dieting

Yup! I do, I hate it. Dress it up as a lifestyle change and I still hate it. I've all but given up! I try to stay positive. It's just the one thing I am horrible at. I am horrible at making good food choices and work out choices! The thing I am most awful at is sticking with it. So while I'm only half way through reading my book I am determined tomorrow to get back up on this horse and try again! It only takes one right move, one foot in front of the other. Here we go again!!

I'm back!

I didn't really go anywhere, but I didn't know what to title this blog. I'm still reading the Blood Sugar Solution and so far, so good! I found my wedding dress this last Saturday and that has provided some insane motivation. The book is about using medicine as food. It makes sense to me, it's like a car and gasoline. It won't run on water- it runs on specially formulated fuel. Our bodies also need fuel. I still eat crap that I don't know why I eat. I'm working on it! We might be getting a puppy on Sunday and he will serve as my inspiration to WALK. I need to get out, exercise. The weather is so nice lately, upper 70s in March, in OHIO. Once I develop said plan I will start talking to you all again. Failure sucks and this is about the 900th time I've started something at 100% passion and in a short time dropped off the map. My goal was that this blog would motivate me. We've had some house stuff going on, but it's no excuse. Time to get back in the saddle and change my life! Thank you for staying with me on this journey!

I have a plan

I ordered the book by Dr. Mark Hyman called the Blood Sugar Solution. Finally a plan! I hope all is well and gives me all I've been searching for! I will let you know of course!

Hello...Anybody there?

Shit. It's almost been a month since I posted! Once again- that shows my commitment. I've been lacking in the "Just do it" department. My life is the same, I just lose interest. I haven't given up on it still! I'm trying to remain mindful of what I'm doing and the choices I'm making. I need a plan. I need a serious pull it together plan. Tomorrow will be a great day for researching said plan. I haven't forgotten about you my little blog and I haven't forgotten about those 50 lbs I'm supposed to make disappear either. Countdown is now more like 3 months then 5. 30 lbs is still good? I'm not giving up on my 50 lb goal. I just have to get it together! Goal for tomorrow: Get a plan Goal for day after tomorrow: stick to it.

Tomorrow is Friday. YAY!

My one month house anniversary post never happened because nothing happened. It came and went and I had dinner with my girls instead, so anti-climatic! Bummer. I do plan on celebrating, maybe this weekend? I haven't posted and that should reflect how awful this week has been when it comes to dieting. Today was alright at lunch I started to get back on track with a nice array of spinach (raw) and chicken sausages then I came home and we ordered pizza. We won a free pizza and a 2 liter of soda from Papa Johns for correctly guessing the coin toss! That shouldn't have meant a pass to eat 4 slices. Last I knew I had lost 5 lbs of my 50. Not a great way to start a life change.  I am not giving up- AT ALL. Life happens, shitty food happens. Tomorrow is another day! Back a few posts when I was talking about temptation, I forgot to add my biggest blunder which leads to off track. That would be no groceries. We start running out of the healthy yummy stuff and start eating our frozen until forever food. I hate this routine and we need to break out of it. I think I really need to get Chris some cooking lessons. It would help out so so so much!

Tessa aka T Money (my boss called me that today, love it!)

Happy one month anniversary house!

One month, it's been one month since we closed on our first house and I'm been busy getting ideas to make it a home and trying to lose 50 pounds in 4-5 months. I will post more about the house later today and probably on my regular blog since it doesn't fit my 'theme' here. I weighed myself this morning which I've been trying so hard to avoid, but it was okay. It said I've lost 5 pounds! Which isn't bad for 2 weeks and a pretty typical number. I worked out last night doing some Biggest Loser on the kinect (man is that fun!) Not so fun to realize you are so out of shape you couldn't even get through 20 minutes of it without stopping. That's okay though, one step at a time. I worked over tonight and had to stop at my old neighbors for a quick visit so by the time I got home I was famished. I made some chicken in a skillet with garlic/dill seasoning and added tomatoes (an actual roma tomato that I cut up!) It's a big deal because I usually only stick to diced tomatoes from a can, there's less meat that way. I also added some onions to the chicken and eventually pasta sauce and some penne (not whole anything, shame...shame..) mostly because it's quicker to cook then the whole grain. It was an okay meal. I added parmesan cheese, feta, and cheddar because it just seemed bland. Oh well, that would be why I follow recipes. I was so hungry I had two bowls too. Again, shame shame. I keep trying to watch my portions and all I end up doing is watching them go into my mouth! My major success is keeping up with it and not feeling defeated though.

I am going out to eat tomorrow with A and N from work for a nice bitch fest. Work has been so crazy busy that I want to pull my hair out. I just need time, more time! I would take the option of working a few 10 hour days because at least I'd feel like I had something to show for the hours in my workday. I am going to feed my body and not my emotions tomorrow though, that is my goal for Friday.

Tessa