Back to December

News years resolutions have already started for me. I have had no fast food or pop in two weeks. I have had chipotle, Chinese, chocolate and pizza but those do not count at least not to me. I feel better on days when my food choices are cleaner but I'm working on it. It's a sprint not marathon! I would like to see myself in a year from now down at least 10 lbs and as a non-smoker. I would love to be down 100 pounds but we'll see. The 5k I'm doing with my sisters and mom is coming up! As in, next July. Nice to have a goal! Till then sugar plums :)

Zumba!

I've started doing Zumba Fitness for the Kinect, wow! This will be a lot of fun once I'm able to do it without taking short breaks after every song to sigh obnoxiously and count down the songs until I'm done! It's a workout like I've never done. It keeps me coming back day after day, and that is very special to me! I need the motivation. I had a doctors appointment last week that confirmed how important this hill is to climb. I won't get into specifics but lets just say I need to stick with it this time. For once, and for all. Sometimes I feel bad because in the past I've failed but in the grand scheme of things, who cares? Who will remember how many times I've failed miserably, if I finally do the damn thing? Nobody. And if they do remember, maybe seeing me cross the finish line will make them all the more proud! If not, f em. 

I got a new tattoo last week to remind myself to keep going and to not give up! Believe (in myself) & Persevere. The shooting star is in honor of my Grandmother. I love it! I would have loved it more if the first time I had it done it was spelled properly. Hence the large V in persevere there to cover up the R that was added and that shouts COVER UP. Oh well, what are you going to do? It might not have ended up as the prettiest thing ever, but it means so much to me that I really don't care. If you think it's ugly, so be it. It's a good thing I didn't get it with what you thought in mind. 

It's come in handy so far, I've actually wanted to eat something horrible for me or stop mid song and just 'get by' but I took one look and remembered- KEEP GOING. It'll be worth it someday.

and four months later...

I'm a married woman! So no, I did not lose 50 lbs. but I did feel absolutely beautiful and confident standing beside that amazing man! It's the journey, not the destination. I'm still digging in everyday trying to make the best decision for myself and my future. It's not always easy, but what is? Nothing is easy, ever! You have to learn to roll with the punches and take it one day at a time. I did lose close to 20 lbs and that's no small feat!

Stay tuned, I still plan on completing my goal of living a healthy life at a healthy weight!

I Hate Dieting

Yup! I do, I hate it. Dress it up as a lifestyle change and I still hate it. I've all but given up! I try to stay positive. It's just the one thing I am horrible at. I am horrible at making good food choices and work out choices! The thing I am most awful at is sticking with it. So while I'm only half way through reading my book I am determined tomorrow to get back up on this horse and try again! It only takes one right move, one foot in front of the other. Here we go again!!

I'm back!

I didn't really go anywhere, but I didn't know what to title this blog. I'm still reading the Blood Sugar Solution and so far, so good! I found my wedding dress this last Saturday and that has provided some insane motivation. The book is about using medicine as food. It makes sense to me, it's like a car and gasoline. It won't run on water- it runs on specially formulated fuel. Our bodies also need fuel. I still eat crap that I don't know why I eat. I'm working on it! We might be getting a puppy on Sunday and he will serve as my inspiration to WALK. I need to get out, exercise. The weather is so nice lately, upper 70s in March, in OHIO. Once I develop said plan I will start talking to you all again. Failure sucks and this is about the 900th time I've started something at 100% passion and in a short time dropped off the map. My goal was that this blog would motivate me. We've had some house stuff going on, but it's no excuse. Time to get back in the saddle and change my life! Thank you for staying with me on this journey!

I have a plan

I ordered the book by Dr. Mark Hyman called the Blood Sugar Solution. Finally a plan! I hope all is well and gives me all I've been searching for! I will let you know of course!

Hello...Anybody there?

Shit. It's almost been a month since I posted! Once again- that shows my commitment. I've been lacking in the "Just do it" department. My life is the same, I just lose interest. I haven't given up on it still! I'm trying to remain mindful of what I'm doing and the choices I'm making. I need a plan. I need a serious pull it together plan. Tomorrow will be a great day for researching said plan. I haven't forgotten about you my little blog and I haven't forgotten about those 50 lbs I'm supposed to make disappear either. Countdown is now more like 3 months then 5. 30 lbs is still good? I'm not giving up on my 50 lb goal. I just have to get it together! Goal for tomorrow: Get a plan Goal for day after tomorrow: stick to it.

Tomorrow is Friday. YAY!

My one month house anniversary post never happened because nothing happened. It came and went and I had dinner with my girls instead, so anti-climatic! Bummer. I do plan on celebrating, maybe this weekend? I haven't posted and that should reflect how awful this week has been when it comes to dieting. Today was alright at lunch I started to get back on track with a nice array of spinach (raw) and chicken sausages then I came home and we ordered pizza. We won a free pizza and a 2 liter of soda from Papa Johns for correctly guessing the coin toss! That shouldn't have meant a pass to eat 4 slices. Last I knew I had lost 5 lbs of my 50. Not a great way to start a life change.  I am not giving up- AT ALL. Life happens, shitty food happens. Tomorrow is another day! Back a few posts when I was talking about temptation, I forgot to add my biggest blunder which leads to off track. That would be no groceries. We start running out of the healthy yummy stuff and start eating our frozen until forever food. I hate this routine and we need to break out of it. I think I really need to get Chris some cooking lessons. It would help out so so so much!

Tessa aka T Money (my boss called me that today, love it!)

Happy one month anniversary house!

One month, it's been one month since we closed on our first house and I'm been busy getting ideas to make it a home and trying to lose 50 pounds in 4-5 months. I will post more about the house later today and probably on my regular blog since it doesn't fit my 'theme' here. I weighed myself this morning which I've been trying so hard to avoid, but it was okay. It said I've lost 5 pounds! Which isn't bad for 2 weeks and a pretty typical number. I worked out last night doing some Biggest Loser on the kinect (man is that fun!) Not so fun to realize you are so out of shape you couldn't even get through 20 minutes of it without stopping. That's okay though, one step at a time. I worked over tonight and had to stop at my old neighbors for a quick visit so by the time I got home I was famished. I made some chicken in a skillet with garlic/dill seasoning and added tomatoes (an actual roma tomato that I cut up!) It's a big deal because I usually only stick to diced tomatoes from a can, there's less meat that way. I also added some onions to the chicken and eventually pasta sauce and some penne (not whole anything, shame...shame..) mostly because it's quicker to cook then the whole grain. It was an okay meal. I added parmesan cheese, feta, and cheddar because it just seemed bland. Oh well, that would be why I follow recipes. I was so hungry I had two bowls too. Again, shame shame. I keep trying to watch my portions and all I end up doing is watching them go into my mouth! My major success is keeping up with it and not feeling defeated though.

I am going out to eat tomorrow with A and N from work for a nice bitch fest. Work has been so crazy busy that I want to pull my hair out. I just need time, more time! I would take the option of working a few 10 hour days because at least I'd feel like I had something to show for the hours in my workday. I am going to feed my body and not my emotions tomorrow though, that is my goal for Friday.

Tessa

Temptation

Hi my peeps! I pondered today after a text conversation with my sister M, what things stand in your way from losing it? The big IT of course is your weight!I know for me I have a few things that make me lose sight of the big picture. One of these things happens to all of us ladies once a month. She sucks and for some reason makes me crave everything I'm not supposed to have! Today I felt like I could have killed for something salty and deep fried, I opted for a frosty, not just any frosty would do! I had to go balls to the wall and have an oreo frosty parfait which is just what it sounded like but add chocolate syrup. 300 calories!

My whole lunch was less than that! BUT- I will not feel like a failure and give up because of one temptation! I cannot. I've done it in the past and it is my biggest downfall. I will take it for what it is, and move on. Second thing would be restaurants in general. Say I go out to eat with my family to Bob Evans, the good side of me knows I should get a salad, but that devilish side of me says "Hey, you're with your family, enjoy the moment! Eat the cheese covered chicken and french fries!" The devilish side usually wins. In my opinion, this is A-OKAY just do not make it a habit and it is not an excuse to order that same meal day in and day out. That's where it always ends up- but AGAIN not today! It takes three months to develop a habit, and during that time I'm bound to eat with family and bound to get my period but I don't have to let it ruin what I want so badly and have worked so hard for.

My opinion is that you can avoid these foods for the rest of your life, but why? Having a frosty oreo parfait once a year isn't why I'm fat. Having a frosty oreo parfait once a week is why. Feeling helpless is another reason why. I am not alone is this fight, none of us are. Call, text, blog, whatever! Get it out and start again!

Tessa

Sunday Post

I need more creative titles for my blogging! Since the last time I blogged, I've been successful. I know where you were thinking when you hadn't heard from me "She's fallen off the wagon!" but nope. I just am not a dedicated blogger yet. I keep thinking of things to write about and believe me weight loss is a vast topic when you think about it. I mean it's a billion dollar market so there are plenty of things related to the struggle, but finding things specific to my struggle makes it a little more difficult. I did my first bit of exercising on Friday. I invited some girls over from work to do some Dance Central 2 and that game is amazing and addictive. I'm still recovering from Whipping my Hair back and forth about 30 times.

I just figured out that that's why my neck hurt this morning! 

Tessa

Goal days are for chumps

Not really, but I was super annoyed when I hopped on the scale tonight and it said I gained a pound since Sunday. Seriously? Does my body know how awesome I've been doing? But that's it, right there. It does and it will pay me back. I've kicked it's ass for 27 years, it will take some getting used to. I avoided both pizza and cake at work today, not just cake but 3 cakes and cupcakes! I am still not at strict as I need to be and I have had nothing but pop and coffee for the last two days. Need more H20! Seriously.

It was a bummer, but it's okay. I'd love to avoid the scale until a month in, I bet I would be surprised and all these little numbers just annoy me. I'm somebody who can vary in weight up to 5 pounds in one day. I don't know how to measure progress any other way though! It'll be alright. I'll be alright. *Rinse and repeat*

Tessa

Tomorrow is my first goal day

I set a little goal for myself of 5 lbs for tomorrow which will be the end of week one. I know I came close since I weighed myself yesterday and was down 4 pounds. This weekend was good, I had some work friends over to play the Kinect and do some Dance Central 2 which is always a great workout! Me and the soon to be hubs went to the grocery store today and purchased a lot of healthy foods. A good portion that was not so healthy also since Chris has a horrible sweet tooth and should never shop when he's hungry! I still was able to make some pretty good choices. I was super excited to see that Special K made a new chip!

The Cracker chips are an easy favorite of mine because you can have 27 chips for only 110 calories! They feel like cheating, but of course you're not. Delish! I will update tomorrow on my week one end weight.

Tessa

Down 2.4 and still going!

I know it was premature of me to weigh myself tonight and the scale was probably inaccurate as it said I have already lost 2.4 pounds in the 3 days I've changed my eating habits but I'll take it! We still haven't hooked up our Kinect yet and really the basement once finished will be the best spot for all my dance central action, but until then my exercise has been lacking. I looked into ZUMBA classes nearby and am thinking about doing that once a week for my exercise. I would just get the ZUMBA game for the Kinect but the reviewers online have turned me against that, plus I think it would be more fun to be in a class surrounded by other people.The food part has been delicious and healthy and while my portions need work, at least I am starting to adjust once again to greens!

I mean, seriously- don't they look like they are having a BLAST!


Sexy and I know it- Am I the only one who feels amazing and sexy once starting a diet/lifestyle change? I swear, it's a problem. Day one of making better choices in my life and I feel unstoppable, it's a high. I like it, but I've always wondered if anyone else ever feels that way? Once again, I'll take it!

Tessa

Today was a success!

As first days go, it was a success! I had a salad with iceberg lettuce (not my favorite) with some pre-cooked chicken cubes, a dash of mozzarella cheese, ceasar vinaigrette dressing and some carrots. I didn't have much in my fridge, but I made it work in the famous words from Tim Gunn himself. Me and my better half went to the grocery store to pick up some random items and I bought some boneless skinless chicken breasts that I cooked up on the George Foreman (with removable plates, the only way to have a George Foreman! IMHO) that I gently spiced with some garlic dill seasoning. Then I added some mushrooms on the grill and ate that all on a bed of spinach. I did have two breasts instead of one, and added some steamfresh green beans. I also had two cans of diet cherry 7up but in my defense it has antioxidants! I avoided all chocolate today and even ignored the pecan cake we had for a co-workers birthday! I snacked on some pretzel rods and Laughing Cow light swiss cheese which making dinner because I was so hungry! As an added bonus I ate this delish meal after cooking Chris some sloppy joe manwich's. Not that that was a hard dish to resist! All in all a fantastic day! I even drafted up an excel spreadsheet for my Sunday weigh-ins and to track my progress. So far, so good!

First Vlog

Introducing....me.

Here Goes Nothing!

When you have so much to lose, it can feel overwhelming at times. I hope I can remind myself that it is achievable in small baby steps! Just do it 10 pounds at a time. So my first goal is 10 pounds before Friday January 27th. That's plenty of time! And if I do accomplish this goal, I need to set rewards for myself. Maybe a new shirt? Or a trip to the salon? Whatever it is, I'll let you in on it!

Day One