Motivate Me Failed at Motivating Me

Wassup hot stuff?

That is so rude of me! For reals, don't be disappointed. I have pondered many times how it is that I have no followers, but I get it. I wouldn't follow me either! There will come a day when I will nail this shit down! Maybe 2013 is not my year? That would be bullshit. It is already my year in so many ways.

It is June! June 18th to be precise! That means this year, nearly 5 months ago I accomplished at least one thing that I have been attempting to do for 10 years, which is quit smoking! Success! If I don't lose another pound the rest of this year, I hold onto what an accomplishment that is. I downplay it, but it's a big fuckin deal man. I also have dramatically increased my H2O and decreased (almost to nothing) my pop intake. Again, huuuuge deal dudes. If only you knew. I was born and raised on Mountain Dew. Funny to think of that because now it makes me want to vomit. 

I've always has a weird relationship with pop (yes, it's pop around here snookums). I loved me some citrus sugar water when I was a wee lad, and again when I worked nights. I occasionally drank Diet Pepsi and a few Sprites, but that was it. I hated Coke. My mom has since given up pop, but she always had Diet Pepsi, and my dad Coke or beer. Coke was just- BLAH- so wretched. I will always remember where I was when I tried my first Diet Coke though. Target, 2006. I was there with my sister Miranda, shopping for who knows what. They were giving out samples of vitamin Diet Coke. I remember thinking, how bad can it be, it's got VITAMINS! So, I took a sip and was hooked. Diet Coke had me and it was an amazing thing. I never liked dark pop because I thought it would stain my teeth! Never mind that I smoked like a God damn chimney, or that I enjoyed coffee almost every single day.  Once Diet Coke had me, it did not want to let me go. Eventually though, we went our separate ways. It just stopped tasting good to me. I will say, I do every once and awhile indulge. I have always loved water but I do get a little bored with it. For now, I hydrate with tap water 

(btw, have you watched Tapped on Netflix? Those sneaky little fucks. Bottled water companies lie and are totes ripping you off) a little green tea, and a daily cup of black coffee. I have previously read somewhere that if you can drink black coffee you have no taste buds- uh oh. My mom always orders coffee that way so I was kind of raised that way and it saves you a ton of calories! Thanks mom! *wink*

I never thought I'd have enough to say on the topic of cutting back on my pop consumption. Sometimes I just amaze myself. 

Two goals down-
1. Quit smoking (or Miranda will kill you)
2. Stop drinking pop!
3. Eat healthy 90% of the time
4. WALK DAILY
5. Meditate
6. Create

Later Taters. 
T

Hershey Kisses for Breakfast

Howdy! Let's get right to business. Do you ever get super frustrated after busting your ass and seeing that you've barely burned off that Hershey kiss(es) you enjoyed for breakfast?  So frustrating! Those are the times I have to push myself.

I'm not very good at pushing myself, as made obvious by my lack of keeping up with this blog. It's not because I'm a bad blogger, it's because I'm a bad dieter/exerciser. Nothing to post and update!

OR *Stop starting over!* Just kidding, LOVE this.

Yet tomorrow is a new day and I am excited to hop on that treadmill at the crack of dawn and persevere. I worked out to Dance Central tonight for about 35 minutes and the game said I had only burned 90 calories! WHAT! How is that possible? I can barely breathe!? I went online and looked up the calories burned in regards to my actual weight and I was satisfied with those results. I don't know what they base those calories on, but obviously not someone quite as fluffy as myself.

That pink blob in the upper right corner is me

I have to make my crazy eyes face or else my eyes disappear in my eye fat.

Fitness Tracker aka pick a playlist and we'll randomly tick away a calorie count low enough to make you want to macarena your way off a bridge.

In other news I have been smoke free for over a week now. It has been surprisingly easy! I really think I was just ready. Chris joined me in quitting a few days later and he's done really well. We even were at a bar this past Saturday and didn't even feel tempted. Even non-smokers will smoke when drinking! It's interesting, I feel like I don't miss any part of it. Not like I thought I would. I feel plugged in and connected! I don't feel different physically, but I wasn't that heavy of a smoker even though I had smoked for 10 years.

I also have cut down drastically on my pop (soda, if you are a weirdo) intake. I can't say I've given this up completely, because that would be a lie. It feels really good to be drinking so much water though. I think these small changes will add up to big differences in my life, I am hopeful!

Dieting & exercising are two words that go together like fedora and douchebag, but for whatever reason I can't seem to do them at the same time. I blame this on the fact that Tessa and organization are two words that do not go together. I need organization to create healthy, cheap meals that I can purchase one week at a time. That involves a lot of prep work and I'm a last minute kind of girl when it comes to food. That is next on my list! Create healthy meals and plan plan plan! OR- Find a blog where someone else has already done this and gone to the trouble of documenting the process for me! That should help. Have I mentioned that I love the internet?

Tonight, I'll leave you with this. It goes without saying but:

For realz.

 Night loves.
-T

My thoughts on the Grammys: Not enough Beyonce. It was tragic. This sure did help ease the pain though:

Get that man some chapstick! Pronto!

Quittin' You

To do a 5K, I think it would be pretty crucial to have fully functioning lungs. That is one reason why I've decided to quit smoking. I've don't believe I have ever been fully addicted to smoking. Mentally? that's possible, but not physically. I just liked it. 

I started smoking close to 10 years ago when I moved to Columbus for the first time. I had smoked a handful of times before that but I specifically remember not even doing it right. I didn't inhale (not to sound like Bill Clinton) but I just kinda puffed. My mom smoked for most of my childhood and my dad still does to this day. I also remember begging them to quit because they were going to die! Didn't they love us?! Kids are so dramatic. I blame DARE. I was....judgmental? That's not the best word to describe me, but the only one I can think of. I couldn't believe people smoked cigarettes (let alone anything else) or drank alcohol to get drunk! Ridiculous. I was naive. Maybe that's a better word. 

Then I moved to the big city and life changed quickly! My roommate  smoked like a chimney so I just kind of followed suite. My boyfriend at the time and all my new friends smoked too, so it's not surprising I ever picked up the nasty habit. One person who didn't was our friend and my now hubalub Chris and a small handful of childhood friends we rarely saw. Fast forward to today and Chris isn't quite ready to quit just yet. It's okay, I know he will because he's competitive. 

I'm glad to be free. I really hope if you're reading this, you find your reasons for quitting. I hate feeling like something owns me. My weight owns me right now. I don't choose what to wear, my body and weight dictate that. If I chose I would dress much cuter, I promise. Cigarettes have owned me. I do what they want, when they want. How shitty is that. Now I do what I want, in terms of my lungs. You don't own me Camel! Suck it. 

Maybe I'll become a soprano again? The possibilities are endless!